Self-Compassion is one of the most challenging things that I work on with clients. This four step meditation has been very helpful to a number of my clients and I have used it in both group and individual settings. This meditation does not require you to sit in a particular position and you can feel free to move around as needed. You could try it with your eyes open or closed. This meditation can be thought of as heart training and does not require you to have a tight concentration. Please adapt this meditation in any way that will make it more suitable for your needs.
Step One -Gesture of Compassion
When you are ready begin by offering yourself a gesture of compassion. This could be a hand or two over the heart, a gentle hug, or placing a hand gently on the side of the face. You may begin to feel the warmth of this gesture, and you might try and allow the compassion to slowly sink in. If you wish you can continue holding this gesture for as long as it feels helpful throughout the meditation
Step Two – Acknowledge Suffering
In your own time, you can begin to acknowledge some form of suffering in your life. It could be physical pain, emotional pain, mental health issues or interpersonal problems. To start out it is better not to choose something related to trauma, as it could disrupt your sense of safety. As you begin to acknowledge this suffering you might picture it as close by or far away. You could personify the suffering and imagine waving to it. You could also imagine the suffering as a little baby and imagine cradling the baby back and forth. You might say a phrase or two to the suffering such as, “I see you,” or “I know you are there,” or “I am holding space for you right now.” This step is about practicing acknowledging the suffering, to the point where you are able, not giving it too little, or too much space.
Step Three- Breathing in Compassion
Now when you are ready you might begin to breathe in a warm radiant light of compassion. Allow this light to soften the suffering and gently surround the suffering. With each in-breathe continue to breath in this warm radiant light. You may imagine that this light is a particular color. You may notice of the radiant light begins to soften the suffering to the point where it is ready to depart your body and mind. If this is the case you can imagine suffering leaving you with the out breathe and drifting far into the atmosphere where it cannot hurt anyone. You might continue to do this for as long as it serves you.
Step Four- Remember the Connection to Others
At the end of this meditation you might choose to pause and remember that suffering does not have to isolate you. It can actually connect you to other people. Even though other people in the world have suffered differently and their stories are different from yours, they too have suffered. Perhaps you can imagine that you are connected to other people who have suffered by a golden thread.
End Notes:
After completing these four steps you might take a moment or two to ponder how you feel in your body and notice the quality of your thoughts and emotions. Are your thoughts occurring more quickly or slowly than when you started. What is the texture of your emotional landscape, has it changed since you started the meditation?
Kind Heart Counseling 